When I was younger, I never went to daycare. I stayed at home with my grandparents, aunt, great-great aunt or cousin. I did travel as well.
I went to a small primary school, of maybe less than 120 children, when I was 4 years old. I was popular there all 7 years I spent (4-11) because my mother was a teacher.
Moving onto secondary school… I just floated from group to group to group during my 5 years there. (12-16). I was the weirdo. The kind of quiet one. I only speak to about 4 of those people I met there. If I see any others I used to talk to I’d wave…depending on who they were.
I went to community college and spent 3 years. Since I left, I only speak to 2 people from there out of the possible 20 I would’ve talked to during those years.
Im not one to automatically fit into a group no matter how long ive been around them.
Especially now that I only really hang around my besties, it kinda feels like I am going back to secondary school and just looking around at them talking and occasionally saying something. Feels like I’m forcing myself into their circles that was formed before I hung out with them.
You know, the feeling when you’re part of the group but at the same time not part of it.
As much as I hate being out sometimes, I hate being at home and feeling lonely.
I need to be around others.