The Almost Surgery

I was supposed to have surgery on May 12th to get a fibro adenoma removed. Of course days leading up, I panicked more and more. This is how it went.

When we got there (my mother and I ) we signed in and my mother had a mini freak out because she forgot my hospital card which was ok. While waiting I read a book and tried sleeping. I saw the doctor pas me at least 3 times. By 1 pm I was so bored and tapping my foot on the floor pretty quickly.

Finally, they called my name. I went in the room and did what they told me. Shoes, shirt, bra off and lay on the bed. The doctor came in did the ultrasound and then they had to get the surgeon in the room which took a little while. At this time, my arm was going to sleep because it was stretched over my head. Finally, the surgeon came and they started. Before they even numbed the area, I started crying and the surgeon reassured me I’ll be fine and all I could think is that telling me it’s going to be ok isn’t helping…I’m still scared.

The area was wiped clean, and a needle inserted to numb the area. I wanted to watch it going in as I do with all needles when I’m getting vaccination or getting blood drawn. The doctor wouldn’t allow me to. Anyways, so she located the area again and drew an x on the spot because…well you know….X marks the spot. Another 2 doctors came in and she put the needle in the spot while the surgeon held the uhhh let’s call it the ‘ultrasound wand’ (no idea what it’s called) which was in a long plastic tube which was filled with the ultrasound gel. Actually my thoughts were, it looks like a condom. The doctor inserted the needle and was trying to get it as close as possible to the lump or at least to stick it in but it kept shifting. She finally got it in a good position and had to attach the wire to the needle.

This is where the stress started. They tried 3 different sizes of wire but it just wouldn’t hook to the needle. I got to keep my arm down after a while and could finally start to feel my fingers again. The more frustrated they became, the more frustrated and scared I got.

Finally, they gave up and told me to get dressed and go to the theatre suite on the 3rd floor. When my mother came in with my clothes and asked what happened, I cried because I was entirely frustrated and I had been panicking about it for months. I just threw on my button up shirt and shoes and walked up to the 3rd floor and had to get directions to the theatre suite. We waited and waited until the surgeon came in and told us that they couldn’t get the wire attached, they would have to monitor it and to return in month, then have an ultrasound every 6 months.

I honestly just wanted the thing removed and after months of panicking and the surgery not happening really pissed me off. I rather have it out than to have random shooting pains whenever.

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